Eyeball Your Fear

There are shades of Anxiety, Fear, Worry, Discomfort, Doubt, and they are all normal, natural, important, appropriate and there to keep you safe

Fear about your Rocky Relationship 

What triggers fear and how it manifests are different for all of us, but an out of balance relationship is the one that we all have in common.

There are shades of Anxiety, Fear, Worry, Discomfort, Doubt and they are all normal, natural, important, appropriate and there to keep you safe. It is OK for us not to feel OK

The Tipping Point will be different for each of us – where we become super anxious and feel out of control. Where it prevents us from doing everyday things and we pull back from activities we used to enjoy. 

Our learning is to spot it and deal with it when it becomes problematic and toxic. You know best here. Follow your intuition, your “gut feel” – your gut is your second brain and the start of your anxiety system.

In a relationship we need to be careful not to be over-anxious about our Tricky Person’s anxiety, try not to show fear or worry – it is contagious. That place of our fear feeding our Tricky Person’s fear and vice versa, often manifesting in anger can feel like a broken relationship but with support and guidance that can also be your breakthrough.

Eyeball Your Fear


Fear can feel like a natural way to protect yourself and stay in control. We have all come to be far more comfortable in a state of fear than in a place of joy. 

You may not always walk around feeling fearful, but fear takes many forms – anxiety, limitation, defensiveness, judgement, and the impulse to control – all stem from a base of fear. For example:

  • Perfection Paralysis – you are fearful of not being perfect, so you don’t do anything. Remember done is better than perfect.
  • Anxiety of Anticipation. The fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself.  
  • When we worry about what others think we are projecting from our fear within. Banish the word and the feeling of “should” – NO “Shoulding” on yourself!!
  • Fear of failure, usually without any evidence. What is the worst that can happen? Then what? Then what? Then what? Challenge your thoughts.
  • “The Devil is in the next level” Fear comes when you are about to make a breakthrough. To move from easy or Zone of Good, or Zone of Great, to Zone of Genius.
  • Comparisonitis is very dangerous and fear-provoking. Remove yourself from the places and spaces which trigger that. Only worry about your game.

Think of fear as the opposite of love. 

When you rely on fear you are disconnected from the free-flowing love of the Universe.

Fear is an illusion. It is not real. It is the gap between you and your goals. Fear is trying to keep you small. 

FEAR can be ‘Forget Everything and Run’ or it can be ‘Face Everything and Rise’. You get to choose. 

Relationship Confidence is part of the 6 Proven Steps to Connecting Heartfully

Wendy xxx

The Heartfulness Coach

PS In the Heartful Mum Programme we get really down and dirty with Eyeballing Your Fear so that you can learn to be totally authentically you and take action with confidence to the benefit of you, your Tricky Person, and your wider family.

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