The Greatest Gift

“The greatest gift we can give those around us is our own happiness” 

“The greatest gift we can give those around us is our own happiness” 

The road to happiness is through self-discipline. Critical is getting things done in a systematic disciplined way. Discipline has a bad name. We need to revert the name to love because self-discipline is an expression of self-love. Foregoing immediate pleasure for long-term self-respect. If you are disciplined now, then you won’t carry the burden of regret later. 

Overwhelmed by To-Do’s?

Sometimes we get lost in the “To-Do’s” and forget the “To-Be’s”. Some great advice is to also make a “To Don’t” List – don’t do all the chores and feel like a martyr, don’t put the children (and everyone else) first every time, don’t say YES when inside you mean NO.

“Loving yourself first is giving the world the best of you, not just what is left of you” Katie Read.


The opposite of self-love manifests as self-sabotage and we are all guilty whether it be with comfort food, excess alcohol, phone/ social media addiction, binge-watching Netflix, skipping exercise, poor sleep routines, inappropriate relationships……and the list goes on.

Spotting and managing your patterns of self-sabotage is really important – we do lots more work on this in the Heartful You Programme – have a look at here


If you give yourself permission to care for yourself then everyone else will benefit. It is selfish not to look after yourself. If you spend your time rescuing everyone else, you have nothing left to give, so please put your own oxygen mask on first.

You deserve that self-care, simple small incremental steps to a healthier you. Build on little micro habits so they become as automatic as brushing your teeth.

95% of our behaviour is habitual. Habits are the practices, routines, or behaviours that we perform regularly, often on automatic pilot, and we tend to have ‘bad’ or ‘good’ habits.

Knowing which habits are working well for us and which ones we want to break and then having a plan in place to do so, is essential for us to ultimately achieve the positive relationship outcomes that we want. “Good” habits are another part of raising your energetic vibration to support your relationships.


Upgrading the women that we are becoming means upgrading our habits. We do a deep drill down into this in a really enlightening and beneficial Heartful You Programme exercise, with questions like these;

Right now, what is the Number 1 habit I want to break in order for me to be the best version of myself both now and the vision I hold of myself in the future?

Why is it important to me to change this habit?

What will happen if I don’t change this habit? If in a year’s time, it’s the same? Consider how it impacts me, family, health, career, money, etc 

How will I feel about myself when I have changed this habit? Give as much detail as possible

What will I do differently when I have changed this habit?

How will I feel when I’ve cracked it and it’s just part of who I am?


Often, we only think about lifestyle/ food/ exercise when we think about habits. Your mind is like any other muscle, it takes time and training to become what you want it to be. Make it a habit to use your mindset muscle to rewire your brain.

Put your meditation in your diary as you would a meeting.

Put on a phone alarm for your Heartful Breathing plus other movement and breathing breaks through the day.

Being in nature is profoundly good for us, it improves mental focus and anxiety. Take in your prana, your chi life force which moves through your chakras. It comes from the air, the sun, the ground even if that is only 5 minutes in the garden or opening the window.

Improving our Habits to be a Model Role Model is part of the 6 Proven Steps to Connecting Heartfully

Wendy xxx

The Heartfulness Coach

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